my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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