THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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