i was rollin on her like bob the builder
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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