I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
