I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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