I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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