it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
