i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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