How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The adults are the big ones right?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
