Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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