Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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