That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
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I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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