Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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