Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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