Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
