Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
