that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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