Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
