At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
