OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
