Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
