i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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