I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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