We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
