Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
