I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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