Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
