Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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