That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
