He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
