My hand turned me down
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
