I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize