i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Enjoy the penises
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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