i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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