They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
