It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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