im about as happy as oj after his trial
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
