I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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