I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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