Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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