Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Please don't give away my fajitas
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
