Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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