I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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