Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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