i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize