Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
