yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I showed him my bush... on skype.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
