I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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