Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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