u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
