I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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