Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize