I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
