Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just googled if crying burns calories
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
