he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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