Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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