Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
