Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
