just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
