And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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