Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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