I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
