Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
