maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
