Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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