After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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