i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
