too bad you live with your parents still
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
