How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
