I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
