i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
