That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage