Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize