Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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